Letter to the Crandells

My Dear Crandell Family,

This is a letter from your mom. Oh what? You don't remember me? I'm the tall one with the dark hair. You know, the one who gave birth to you, took care of you when you were sick, read lots of great books to you, cheered you on at each and every game you've ever played in, made you practice the piano even when you screamed bloody murder, required you to do homework before playing video games or watching TV, and tried to teach you how to be good human beings. Remember me?

I can understand if you've forgotten me lately. I seem to be gone all the time. Oh I'm there in the morning when you wake up...just long enough to yell at you to brush your teeth and pick up your messes and be good at school. Then I'm off to work. I get to see my 30 students more than I get to see my own 3 children. They get to have me for 6 whole hours a day. But you?  You pretty much get me for 20 minutes in the morning, and (if you're lucky) 20 minutes at night.

Usually, though, night time finds me at the gym while you are doing homework, eating dinner, taking showers, and saying your prayers. I'm running, or swimming, or riding a bike. I'm thinking of you LOTS and LOTS...but it's just that I'm not there to show you that I'm thinking of you. Spending 4 hours at the gym gives me LOTS of time to think. I think about you, Cooper, and I wonder how I can get you to understand that making good choices really will make you happier than making all those bad choices. I remember spending an entire year waking up early with you to read scriptures and talk about Heavenly Father and the good choices He wanted you to make...and how I would do anything to be sure you knew how much I loved you. I think about you, Carter, and wonder how it is that the boy who's supposed to only be in 5th grade (but is in 6th) can possibly be so tall and handsome. And how sad I am that next year you won't be at Zaharis with me. And I'm so impressed with how you can be friends with SO many different kids - and are so easy to get along with, that they all want to hang out with you. I get it. I want to hang out with you, too!  I think of you, Brooklyn, and wish I had more time to listen to you sing in your karaoke machine at the top of your lungs, and read stories to you, and take you shopping and out for pedicures. Those are my favorite times with you!

I wonder if the obnoxious attitudes, and the sibling rivalries, and the tensions in the house are all my fault. They might be. An absentee mother is a hard thing for a child to deal with. I know I'm missing out on time I'll never get back again. But I also know it's temporary. This Ironman thing is a one time deal. Oh I may do another one someday...when you're grown up and I don't have to leave you alone. But for now? It's a one time deal. We have 3 more months...90 more days to put up with this. After that? I'm all yours! I'll still exercise. I'll still train for races, because I need goals to reach to keep me focused. But not during the precious hours of the day I get to spend with you. It's not worth it. You guys are only going to be young once...and I don't want to miss a thing!

And I hope that even while I'm not home, I'm teaching you lessons. These are the lessons I hope you're learning:

• You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to
• Diabetes doesn't have to stop you from living a full life
• Hard things require determination, dedication, and commitment
• Hard things require work, time, and effort
• But it's the HARD that makes it GREAT
• When you work your buns off to accomplish something you NEVER dreamed possible, or that someone told you you couldn't do, you will feel AMAZING. And you will have EARNED that feeling.
• Never quit. Never give up. Work until you get what you want.
• You can inspire others to greatness
• And...your mom loves you more than anyone else in the world. She's doing this for you as well as for herself.
• Oh...and you have an amazing dad that has stepped up and taken over things at home so that I could teach you these lessons and achieve my dream. You're lucky. Appreciate him. I do.

So Cooper, Carter, and Brooklyn...don't forget about me while I'm gone. Remember how much I love you. Remember how hard it is for me to leave when you're home. Think about the lessons I've taught you before now, and the lessons I'm teaching you still. Then when May 7 comes and I'm crossing that finish line in St. George, be the loudest ones there cheering me on. Be there first to hug and kiss me and tell me you love me. And I promise I'll do the same for you each and every time you accomplish one of your dreams. You have it in you to do great things. Thank you for helping me to accomplish something great, too. But you know what? Even when I cross that finish line and I am "an Ironman," it won't be better than when I got to hold each one of you in my arms after you were born. You ARE the greatest accomplishments of my life. And I love you more than you'll ever know.

Remember that. 90 more days, and Mom will be home to stay.

I love you,
Mom

Carlsbad!

Oh how I heart Insulindependence and the people I have the privilege to associate with! Last weekend I was able to go to Carlsbad, CA to spend a few days with my favorite people in the world. 6 of the 9 Triabetes captains were there, but along with them were 83 diabetic runners that I got to talk to and hang out with. How cool is that??

I arrived Friday night at around 7 and was picked up from the airport by Dan Vincent  and Sarah Hankel (2 of the captains). We went to the hotel to pick up Andrea Huston and then it was off to meet a bunch of people for dinner.  We had such a great time just catching up with everyone. Brian Phelps (another captain) was at a different dinner with his triabuddy, Zyler, who was receiving a reward, but Christian Chiappe met us there. It was so great to see everyone!

Saturday was a FULL day. It started off in Legoland where they had the kids 1 mile fun run. Brian and his triabuddy Zyler were running in that, so we went to cheer them on. What a cool event! I wish my triabuddy would have been able to be there. I feel bad because she hasn't been able to be at any of the events we've had, so I feel like she's not really getting what this organization is about, and what it can do for her. I hope she can get to know the other triabuddies in St. George and that it will be a positive experience for her, because from what I have seen everyone who has had a chance to spend time with the other diabetics has had a life changing experience.

After the fun run we went to the beach where we met up with about 100 people for surfing, eating, and fun. I didn't surf (cause I've never surfed in my life before), but I had a great time meeting new people and talking to some I hadn't seen for a while.  If it hadn't been cold (well, relatively speaking), and I didn't have a race the next day, I might have tried it...but no. :) Knowing me I probably would've broken something!

Here is Sarah, me, and Veronica Diaz (who is a diabetic nutrition expert. She worked with us in Florida).

Later we went to an endurance expo, then to the Carlsbad expo to pick up our race packets, and then on to the Insulindependence dinner.  It was so much fun! Andrea bought these shirts for all the captains that were there (unfortunately Brian had already left when we finally got a picture), but this is one of my favorite pictures! We joked about being "relentlessly awesome" the rest of the time. (And I actually chanted that to myself as I was running the next day...) :)

Christian, Sarah, me, Andrea, Dan

Sunday morning was the actual half marathon. I was REALLY hoping to get a sub 2 hour half marathon. My first 1/2 I got 2:06, so I figured that a year later I better be a lot stronger and faster than that. Dan decided he'd be nice and pace me (he's like crazy fast, and would have just killed the half but he was so kind to run with a slow poke like me!)  I had NO IDEA how freaking hilly Carlsbad was!!  We started out strong. I was running some sub 8 minute miles at times. Mostly it ranged between 8 and 8:45 the first several miles. But man, as the hills just kept coming and coming and coming, I just couldn't keep that up.  I was struggling, and I was frustrated with myself, but kept pushing through. I seriously wanted to quit and walk so much. I did walk a few times up some crazy hills and just through the aid stations to drink water. But mostly I ran. I ended up averaging about 9:03 through the whole thing, which made me finish in 2:02.  :( Boo. 3 minutes slower than my goal.  3 minutes is quite a bit of time. If I could have stayed up with Dan I could have done it, but I just didn't have it in me that day. Oh well! Gives me something to work for next time!  If I had done it on the same course in Arizona, I KNOW I would've gotten my goal. That race was flat. This was HILLY.  Beautiful along the coast, but hilly.  As we all know, hills are of the devil and I hate them. Oy.  St. George is all hills.....

Here are some pics for you to enjoy:

 Dan, Sarah, and I pre-race

 

 Chris Jarvis (an Olympic rower!) and Andrea

 Andrea and me. We finished only like 3 minutes apart!

 Saci and Igor

 Coach Andrew, and Kyle. Andrew won his age group...after ditching shoes he borrowed that were 1 size too small, getting shoes from a random stranger in the crowd, and carrying the shoe that had the timing chip on it! :) Kind of amazing!

 Me with my awesome pacer and fellow triabetes captain, Dan

 Ryan Maloney and his past triabuddy Steve. Ryan is amazing! He did the half marathon!! (He's 11 or 12. crazy, huh?)

 Julie and Scott Sekella. I just watched her complete Ironman Arizona. She did amazing!!

 Emily Ianello and Gary Schmidt

 These are Andrew's toenails after running 18 miles in shoes a size too small. Ouch! He lost the toenail...

 Jennifer Davino (from New York) and me

 me, Dan, and Jen Davino

Sarah, Andrea, me, and Dan after the race! So glad it's over!!

Overall I had one of the very best weekends of my life! I don't race on Sunday. I don't ever do that. But from  now on I will make Carlsbad a yearly event because I think supporting Insulindependence, and in return being supported by all these amazing people is a top priority for me. They've changed my life! I love them!

 

Doubt...the DEVIL Inside

I have a confession to make. I'm afraid of lots of things. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of something ever happening to one of my children. I'm afraid of never being good enough. I'm afraid of heights. I'm afraid of the ocean (even though I'm a good swimmer). I'm afraid of not finishing my Ironman.  I'm afraid people will find out I'm not really an athlete at all. Sometimes when I teach I'm afraid people will realize I don't really know what I'm doing. Every single time I start working out, I'm afraid I won't be able to finish it.  And I'm afraid that once this Ironman is over, I'll go right back to being lazy and fat.

It's this doubt that I HATE! I hate it, and yet I haven't been able to get rid of it. The thing is, I should be proud of myself for the things I've accomplished, but my brain always says: You can't really do that. You just got lucky. Other people are so much better than you. You can't really run a marathon. You can't really finish this workout. You should just quit now. You will NEVER be an Ironman.

AHHHHH! It makes me crazy! You know what, though? Every single time I start a workout, I want to quit. But I don't. I make myself finish it. My brain says: Just don't do the last 15 minutes. Just do most of the miles, but not the last one or two. Just forget the warm up or cool down of a swim. Just walk for a little bit.  You know what I tell my brain? NO! NO! NO! I WILL finish this workout. I will do all the miles. I will bike the full 4 hours. I will do the warm up and cool down. I will run the full 10 miles. I WILL FINISH!

I'm always afraid at the beginning of a workout that I won't be able to finish. But I am always able to finish. So why am I still afraid? Why do I have to have that persistent doubt in myself?  Last Thursday I had to do a 2:15 bike ride followed by an 8 mile run. The second I sat down on the bike I thought something was wrong with the seat. It felt like CEMENT! My butt hurt and I hadn't even begun! I literally got up to look at it to see if something had happened to the seat. Nope. Same seat. I set the level for 14, set the program to hills, and off I went. I watched about 50 people come and go while I continued to sit there biking my heart out. When I finished, I wanted nothing more than to just go home and go to bed. I didn't. I started the run. I wanted to quit and go home. I almost did. Instead I ramped up the speed and made myself go faster. Pretty soon I had finished 30 minutes and more than 3 miles, and I felt great!  By my last 1.5 miles I was pretty exhausted. So I ramped up the speed again because I just wanted to be finished! I finished in 1:12. So I spent more than 3.5 hours at the gym...watched LOTS of people come and go. It was almost 11 pm. But I finished. TAKE THAT BRAIN!

I haven't been able to get a 100% training week yet. I keep trying, but it hasn't happened yet. But, I have ALWAYS given 100% in my training, and I have completed every workout I've set out to do. I'm at the gym or running/biking anywhere from 1 to 4 hours almost everyday. And yet...I'm still afraid. Is it enough? Will I be ready? Should I quit now because I just can't seem to get faster on the blasted hills?

I have improved my running time a lot. I used to run 10.30 - 11 minute miles. I'm down to 8 - 9 minute miles (with hills). My bike has definitely improved, but nowhere near where I need it to be. I have to try and get 1 - 2 miles per hour faster so that I won't have to be on the bike more than 7.5 hours.  My swim is the only place I feel great. I have that in the bag! I swam 4000 m in 1:08, and that would be perfect for my Ironman. But the rest? I'm scared. I'm really really scared.

So this doubt that lives in my brain? I'm ready to be done with it! It sucks! I will keep pushing myself. I will keep trying. And I'm hoping that eventually I will believe I am capable of what others are believing in me. I believe in everyone else...why can't I believe in myself? Because doubt is the DEVIL within! :(

2010 - My Year in Review

So...I have done so many amazing things this year. I've gone through some highs and some lows. I've taken pictures of just about everything, and yet I've blogged about basically nothing. Lame! I'm never going to be able to remember it all, and I wouldn't want to bore you with every little detail. However, as part of my new year's resolutions, I'm resolving to blog more often! And...it starts today. So, this is my review of 2010. (It might be sorta long, so I apologize!)

I should go to bed because school starts again tomorrow, and with it the BUSY-NESS of my life. But, if I don't do this now it may not happen for a long time, and I promised myself it would. 2010 was a year of firsts and a year of change for me. I started the year off right with my very first full marathon in January. I had worked long and hard for that day, and I was extremely proud of myself for finishing! I did want to finish with a better time (I finished in 4:45), but in the last 3 miles I had a low blood sugar, and luckily I ran into 2 other diabetics right then who were willing to share some sugar and some support with me! Jerry Nairn and Brian Foster changed my life forever with that meeting. They introduced me to Peter Nerothin who is in charge of Insulindependence, and I ended up becoming a Triabetes Team Captain for 2010. Crazy, and life changing. I went from never running in 2009, to running a full marathon in 2010, to training for a full Ironman, which I will complete in May of 2011. I've learned A LOT about training with diabetes this year, too. That first marathon I didn't take a BG monitor with me, I didn't have enough sugar, and had no insulin with me either. What a difference a year can make!

In February Troy and I celebrated our 15 year anniversary. That was a HUGE milestone for us! For many years we didn't think we were gonna make it, but we did. Brooklyn was the miracle we needed to get ourselves back on track and happy, and she truly made that happen. We decided to take a trip to Hawaii with my brother, Porter, and his wife Lana, who were celebrating their 10 year anniversary. (We went in June). It was SUCH an amazing trip! We swam in the ocean with giant sea turtles, snorkeled, kayaked, rode bikes, ran, visited Pearl Harbor, shopped at the Swap Meet (which was awesome!), hiked Diamond Head, ate delicious pineapple at the Dole Pineapple Plantation, spent an AMAZING day at the Polynesian Cultural Center, and just absolutely enjoyed every minute of the beautiful Hawaiian island. I would go back in a heart beat...and live there! I loved it!!

Also in February, I participated in my second Ragnar Relay. This one was done with family, and was a blast! Troy's brother Leon put together a team, and our van consisted of Leon and Amy (his wife), Troy's dad, Chester, my sister Dixie, my niece Breckyn, my bro-in-law, Colby, and myself. The year before when I did my first Ragnar (and really had my first experience with running), I had the EASIEST leg of the race. (Which did not in ANY WAY feel easy to me!) This year, I got one of the very hardest legs...and it was nice to know I could do it! Not gonna lie, though, that 3 mile STRAIGHT UP hill sucked! Coming down the other side of it was amazing, though!

 In March our family decided to cash in on Disney's "Give a Day, Get a Day" program, so we volunteered to help set up for a soccer tournament at Dobson High School, and in return we got 4 free tickets to Disneyland! It was so worth it! We didn't even have to help more than 2 or 3 hours before they let us go, and we got tickets for all of us but Brooklyn. We decided to use them for Spring Break, and we had such a fabulous time. It was perfect weather, and a perfect little short family vacation.

In May I competed in the SheROX triathlon in Tempe again. That was the triathlon that started me racing 2 years ago. This year I did MUCH better than last year, but still not as fast as I had hoped to do. I think I took like 13 minutes off my time from the year before, but really it should've been more than that. This time my 3 sisters did it again, as well as my sis-in-law, Lana, and it was so much fun to experience that with them!

 May was a CRAZY month for us because Carter decided to have appendicitis, and he thought it would be extra fun to let that appendix burst! :( This was like 2 weeks before school got out, and Carter had to be in the hospital for about 6 days, then he had to have a picc line inserted so we could continue to administer medicine to him for the next week after he was out of the hospital. Luckily he got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa Shumway during that week, because we were heading to Hawaii for our big vacation! It was pretty scary. They said he had one of the biggest appendices they'd ever seen...and it really did happen fast. But, he's healthy and happy and appendix free now!

Also in May I had the opportunity to travel to St. George where I met the other 8 Triabetes captains, and I began this journey of training for an Ironman and raising $5000 for this amazing organization, Insulindependence. These people have been so inspirational to me, and I have made friends with people from all over the country who are experiencing the same things as me. I feel so lucky! True...I had to get the 'betes to experience all this...but I wouldn't trade it for anything! :)

 The summer is always my favorite time of year. I love swimming. I love swim team. I love GREER with my family! I love having a break and spending time with my kids. I love the 4th of July. Summer is just awesome!! We enjoyed it to the fullest, and were sad when it quickly came to a close.

This school year has been AMAZING so far! I truly have the very best class in the world (seriously...not one single behavior problem. In my 14 years of teaching, this is a first). The kids are just NICE, and hard working, and loving, and they make me happy! In a year where I have ZERO spare time, they have made it easy for me. Getting up at 4 am to train, then working all day, then coming home to family is challenging. Thank goodness they make it bearable!

One of the very best things to happen to me this year is that I finally got an insulin pump! I got the Animas Ping, (which is waterproof), and it has made all the difference in the world! No more roller coasters of high and low blood sugars. It has seriously helped to keep me stable. I still go high and low, but NOTHING like I did before. On top of that I got a DexCom Continuous Glucose Monitor, and it shows me what my blood sugars are constantly and shows me the trends of whether I'm rising or dropping or staying steady. Holy cow...technology is amazing, and it has really helped me manage my diabetes!

At the end of the summer I found out that my friend from my running club was able to finally get me a slot in the St. George marathon in October. Ummmm....I had NOT been training all summer for that, so I quickly started to do more running! I did a 20 mile run about 3 weeks before, and felt good...figured I'd be fine. Unfortunately, I was NOT fine. I started the race feeling great! I was trying to stay with the 4:15 pace group, and really was feeling amazing. So much so, that I decided to run faster than them so that I could utilize some of the downhill to make up for the time I was sure I'd lose on the uphill. I felt great for about 7 miles, and then something went terribly wrong. I don't even know how to explain it, or what it was...but I seriously thought I was gonna die. I started getting cramps, but high up in my chest. It hurt to breathe. I had to take off my heart rate monitor because it felt like it was squeezing me. I slowed down. I had to walk. I had to go off the road and squat down and try and catch my breath. I was in SO MUCH PAIN! I've never had this happen before, and didn't even know what was going on. It was making me nauseated and I thought I was gonna puke. I kept going, though. For 9 more miles I walked/stopped/ran/walked again/stopped...until at mile 13.75 I PUKED MY GUTS OUT!!! Literally. It was nasty. But then I felt better so started again. Made it another 2.5 miles before it hit again and I finally just turned in the towel. No way was I going to go through 10 more miles of that crap. It sucked. One of the lowest moments for me. I felt like a loser. I was depressed. I didn't feel worthy to be with the group of friends who were there running with me. I couldn't enjoy the celebration and festivities at the end of the race. AAHAHAHAHAH! It sucked. But...it's over, and I haven't let that stop me from believing that I can still do this, and I will. Know what sucked even worse? As we were about to leave for the 10 hour drive home, Troy called me from the hospital saying he was going in for emergency gall bladder surgery. Awesome! :( 2 emergency surgeries in one year...and I wasn't even there for him! It was a crappy ride home, let me tell ya!

 (This was at the beginning...before I sucked it up!)

A couple weeks later I raced in my first Olympic distance triathlon in Lake Pleasant. Holy cow, it was HARD!! But...I did finish it! The swim was a piece of cake for me (even though the water was so dang choppy and the current kept pushing us off course). I finished with the fastest of swimmers. Swimming has always been easy for me. I fully expect to get out of the water in St. George in an hour and 5 minutes...unfortunately it's the SMALLEST PART OF THE RACE! :( Anyway, the 25 mile bike ride here was brutal! All hills, and very difficult. By the time I got to the run I was dead. 6.2 miles in BLAZING HELL HEAT was tough. It was straight downhill, then you turned around and had to come straight back uphill...brutal. And you had to do that twice. I was one of the last finishers. I don't care! I finished! But man, when they ran out of water, and the water they had before was totally hot...that was not cool.

One of the greatest experiences for me this year was getting to go to iD University in Florida. The first week of November was spent with my fellow Triabetes team captains in Panama City, Florida where we trained together and learned together for 6 days. Not only that, we were able to help our triabuddies prepare for and race in their first triathlon at the end of the week! (My triabuddy, London Lines, was not able to be there). It was SO AMAZING!!!! We ran, we rode our bikes (and I was able to go 56 miles - which was the farthest I've ever ridden before), we swam in the ocean, we had a really cool pool swim, and we learned from expert dieticians, nutritionists, and psychologists, and just spent time talking and getting to know each other better. What a phenomenal group of people I am privileged to be a part of. I will never forget that week.

 On Thanksgiving this year I did another sprint triathlon. I had done this one last year, and it was a blast! It's a really mini one (2 mile run, 12 mile bike, 400 m swim. It's also a backward tri, so you run first and swim last). This year my triabuddy got to do it with me, and this was her first triathlon! I was so proud of her! For me it was an amazing improvement from the year before. I got 6th in my age group with a time of 1:08. I was very pleased with that! I've still gotta work on my bike time...I'm just not the fastest there. Oh well!

 As soon as iD University was over our Ironman training began in earnest. I have been working out 6 days a week (for the most part...I do miss some days here and there), and now we've begun our 2 a days. This is especially hard for me with my busy schedule and lifestyle...but I'm trying my darndest to fit it all in and make it work. I would've never done this without this group of people supporting me and inspiring me. I am so grateful to them! :)

One of the COOLEST things I got to do this year was be in a commercial! That's right! I was in a commercial for scrapbook.com. (That, and I also got to be on a recording of a CD called "The Lamb of God" written by my brother's best friend, Rob Gardner.  It is AMAZING, and you all need to get a copy of it if you haven't already. Go to spiremusic.org to get it!)  You can see my commercial here. It was a BLAST to do, and one of the funnest experiences ever! (I know the coolest people!)
Here is a link to the video for you to check out.  It is worth your time! :)

Click here to see Scrapbook Commercial

There have been so many things I've done with my kids, my family, my friends that I haven't blogged about, and I wish I would've...but the things I've written here have been some of the highlights! 2010 was great...but 2011 is going to be even better! Wanna know why? Because I will be an IRONMAN!!!!!!

Triabuddies Race In Kids Triathlon

Here is one more video that I think is amazing. When we were in Florida at iD University, our triabuddies were able to join us and participate in their first triathlon. It was such an amazing experience! These kids are so unbelievable. Truly, they inspire me. Hope you enjoy this video. Also...watch mine! It's in my previous post. :)

Jenny Crandell - Triabetes Captain

VIDEO OF ME AS TRIABETES TEAM CAPTAIN!!

Hey everyone! Here is ME...on Insulindependence TV :) This is part of the documentary that Blair Ryan has been working on all summer. She has made 2 videos out of the 9 she has to do. What a great experience! :) Watch through the whole thing...my boys at the end are kind of funny. Hopefully this will help everyone to understand what exactly it is I'm doing...and why. What an amazing organization Insulindependence is. It has changed my life for the better. And I truly have been changed for good. :)

Enjoy!

Cross Fit Forever Strong

So, I don't really know WHY I don't blog more. I have LOTS to blog about. I have posts going on in my head. I take pictures at all events. And then I come to the computer and just feel...I don't know...like I don't have the desire to write a new post. I check email, facebook, and everyone else's blog. Then I've run out of time once more and log off for the night.

Tonight I decided to bite the bullet and JUST DO IT. (How very Nike of me, right?) I wanted to tell you about a really amazing person I know. His name is Jason. He is my trainer at this amazing little gym I go to called Cross Fit Forever Strong. I was introduced to this gym last year by my brother, Porter.This is Jason with his sweet little daughter Jordyn (who is his twin by the way!)

I had been training for my first ever triathlon, so had been working out quite a bit. It was spring break and my brother challenged me to come try out a really TOUGH really INTENSE workout. I thought I could handle it, so I told him I'd go with him to his gym all week. I had seen Porter's results, and had seen the passion he had about this place, and about this trainer - Jason.

Well...let me just say, that spring break was a turning point in my life. I walked into that gym and I literally never wanted to leave. That first workout was seriously one of the hardest things I'd ever done in my life. He calls it a baseline workout. Anyone who comes in new does this as their first workout. It's a 500 meter row, 40 squats, 30 sit ups, 20 push ups, and 10 jumping pullups all in a row, as quickly as you can. I think I did it in 8 minutes something. I almost threw up. (When Troy did his baseline, he DID throw up! :) Seriously? 8 minutes and I thought I would die. I was hooked.

The premise is that you do short, but very intense workouts that push you beyond your limits. You are timed so you are constantly pushing yourself to go as fast as you can. It uses all your different muscle groups. Some days there is a lot of cardio, most days there is a lot of strength training. Most common exercises are rowing, wall balls, burpees, pullups, pushups, situps, kettle bell swings, squats, lunges, and all kinds of lifting weights with bars.

What makes this gym different, you wonder? It's Jason. It's his heart. It's his passion. His love for what he does, and for who he does it for. It's the feeling of family you get when you walk in the doors. It's people cheering each other on to push harder, or to just finish. It's talking to other people AT THE GYM (who does that in a regular large gym? No one, unless you happen to go with a friend). It's staying after your workout is done just to see someone else finish theirs. It's calling your family members to compare their times with yours and to see who did the workout RX (without any modifications). It's all of these things and more. I don't know how to explain it, but it's a place that makes me WANT to workout. It motivates me. It scares me everyday. It pushes me beyond the limits I place on myself. It strengthens me. It makes me want to puke.

And want to know the best thing? Jason has agreed to train me for my Ironman in May. He is writing me a program that covers everyday of every week for almost a year. He's tailoring it to me, and to any other races I'm doing. He's training me on my running technique. He's helping me pick the right running shoes, and helping me understand better nutrition (which, I might add, I SUCK at completely). And he's doing this because he's passionate about what he does. And he believes in me. He's doing that for no additional charge. He's doing it because he's the kind of person who inspires, teaches, motivates, and does what he does out of a love for people and for their potential. He didn't have to do this, but he's doing it anyway. My training will be different than everyone else's. It's not the conventional, typical Ironman training that just gives you hours and hours and hours on the bike, the run, or the swim. He assures me that I will be just as strong (if not stronger) than the others by training this way, AND I'll have more time for my family, which is the most important thing to me. I don't have time to train like it's another part time job. I have to fit this in to my already busy schedule. He tells me I can, and I believe him.

This place is AMAZING. This guy is AMAZING. And this year is going to be AMAZING. Jason tells me that not only will I finish, but I'll finish strong. It's not about the miles and miles put in. It's about the strength (mental, physical, emotional) to endure and overcome your own obstacles and demons. And he's going to help me get there.

Thanks Jason.

(You can visit his website here: crossfitforeverstrong.com ) When you go there, you can check out the Workout of the Day (WOD) and see just how crazy these workouts are).

Experiential Diabetes Education

I just thought I would share a video of one of the excursions Insulindependence has sponsored for kids with diabetes. What an amazing experience they were able to have! I know from my weekend in St. George with the other 10 Team Captains how life changing it can be to spend time with other diabetics who have the same goals in mind. It helps you to realize how important it is to take care of yourself, and helps you to feel like you really are not alone. (Of course we know that we aren't, and that there are others out there just like us, but it feels good to be surrounded by them and to hear their stories and to see how they take care of themselves. It inspires you to do a better job of taking care of yourself).

Insulindependence is the group I am raising money for. The idea behind this nonprofit organization is not the same as the ADA or the JDRF who are actively researching cures to diabetes. Their idea is to help diabetics to manage their disease through peer-supported fitness and adventure programs. They want to inspire people with diabetes to set personal fitness goals, to educate them on how to manage diabetes through hands-on experience. This is why it makes sense to me! I would love for them to find a cure...but in the meantime, what can I be doing to live a healthy and full life? By racing in an Ironman I am proving that there really are NO limits for ANYONE!

There are a couple other videos I'll share sometime, but I thought this one was pretty neat. Can you imagine getting to go to Machu Picchu as a teenager? I have found that sometimes having things like diabetes or cancer or other diseases tends to open up doors that otherwise would not have been yours to go through. Of course there's the whole trade off that you have a disease...but still! There are some positives in every situation if you choose to look for them.

I hope this helps people to understand exactly what it is I'm racing (and fundraising) for. If you haven't visited my fundraising page, go to HERE

Morning Ride!

**Before you read: To help you understand some of my "jargon" just a little background on blood sugar (BS). It should be between 80-100, but if I'm close to 80 I'm usually going low. Higher than 150 is pretty high, and not good! Bolused is what you do when you give yourself insulin. When I give myself a shot I do it in "units." I usually have to take 1 unit for every 20 carbs I eat. Phrendos are people on the diabetic network that are also into training. If you have any other questions, please comment and I'll try to answer!**

Very early this am (5:00 to be exact) a couple new friends and I got together for a 41 mile ride to Usery Pass and back. My husband and sister (who are very fast) were doing this ride, so I invited some other AZ phrendos to join us, and Lynanne Chapman and Jerry Nairn did. It was nice to meet Lynanne, and great to see Jerry again! I was especially glad to have them around because I am really not fast at all, and knew I couldn't keep up with the others. Turns out Troy and Dixie (hubby and sister) finished 1 HOUR before us...but whatever.

To back up a little, I went to a Shakespeare show at the Biltmore that my bro-in-law was performing in last night (very good! I took Cooper with me and he pretty much thought he'd died and gone to heaven getting to hang out with all the big people!), and afterwards we went for some dessert at the Cheesecake Factory...basically it was 1 am before I went to bed. I checked my email before crashing and saw that Lynanne and Jerry were indeed coming, so I set my alarm for 4:30 and hoped for sleep to come fast! (I'm a total insomniac, so this is something I definitely struggle with). Luckily I got some sleep, woke up to a BEAUTIFUL morning, and was ready to go.

Checked my BS and was at 289...YIKES! I guess that strawberry shortcake wasn't bolused correctly... However, I always tend to go low when I exercise (especially on long runs or rides), so it's always hard for me to decide what to do. Should I give myself some units to correct? I ate half a bagel with peanut butter and decided to give myself 2 units. One hour into the ride I was already at 99. Took some shot blocks and continued on my way. Let me just say, this was NOT an easy ride! It was absolutely gorgeous out this morning. It wasn't hot at all (which is unusual in AZ), it was windy (which was nice for keeping us cool, but sucked the big one for riding into. Lots of strong headwinds the whole time, esp. up the hills), and there were LOTS of bikers out on the roads. (I saw several of my friends out there!)

This ride started at my house, headed up to a place called Usery Pass, and then looped us around for 17 miles before we headed back home. Usery Pass is FULL of hills. There is an especially steep downhill that I thought I would be very scared of, but it turned out I LOVED the feeling of flying! I really am scared of what can happen when you're going that fast, but I tried not to think about it and ended up really enjoying it. However, that was the one nice stretch of the ride before some pretty ugly hills reared their heads. I was slow. Very slow. Poor Lynanne and Jerry--they were great sports sticking with me! (This just shows me how dang far I have to go to be ready for St. George. In fact, I kept thinking "What the h*** was I thinking saying I could do IMSG?????") There was one hill that just kept going for literally 4 miles, and I was getting passed left and right. I finally figured out how to change into the very lowest gears, which helped, but the bike I've got is not great and was really making it hard. But--I made it! We topped that hill and then finished the loop and headed for home. We had to stop 2 other times because I felt low and needed some GU, but I thought it was a very fun and awesome morning! I especially liked getting to know Lynanne, and having time to chat with both her and Jerry. Great people! I hope that next time we can have more Arizonans out with us! I know everyone is at different paces, but I think that would still work because we had 2 groups this time--fast and mega slow. :) We finished the 41 miles in 3 hours 45 minutes. (I'm pretty sure I was going about 3-4 mph on those killer hills! Not so hot...but hey, next time will be much better! Plus, when I get a bike that's actually good it will help a ton!)

If those 2 hadn't come, I would've slept in...SO GLAD THEY CAME!! Anyone else out there wanting to join us for long rides or runs, please let me know! I think I'm going to alternate each Saturday with a long run, then the next week a long ride.

So...The Slacker's Back Part Deux?

I'm not sure if anyone will even read my blog anymore, since I'm so suck-tastic at it! However, I have made a commitment to be a bloggy queen this year as I chronicle my journey to the Ironman St. George. Oh don't worry, I won't only type about exercise and diabetes (what's wrong with that anyway??). I'll also blog about my cute family, my life happenings, etc. But, the main focus will be on my Ironman training.

So I'm just going to start back at the beginning of this journey. (Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a...oh nevermind. Just a little Gilligan's Island for you there). As you may (or may not) recall, last year I began a crazy journey involving running. Before Ragnar of '09 I was definitely NOT a runner, and a friend of mine convinced me to run this little race (204 miles little race), and I strangely enough said yes. Well, to make a very long story short, I got hooked. I went on to run a 5k, a 10k, 2 triathlons, a 1/2 marathon, and then yes...the mother of all races (well, not really there are some seriously insane races out there in the 100 mile range, but that's neither here nor there), the 26.2 mile marathon. I completed that in January of 2010. So exactly a year after I started to run at all (and could only run for 1 to 2 minutes at a stretch without thinking I was literally dying), I ran a full marathon.

During that marathon I happened to notice 2 guys wearing "Triabetes" t-shirts. They passed me and I thought: "Oh good, if something happens to me on this race they're around and will know what to do." I saw them at the 13 mile turnaround, and really it made me feel much better about things. Finally as I was coming into the last 3 miles of this race I caught up with them, and it was a good thing I did. See, as a type 1 diabetic I should have known better than to go out on a huge run like this and not take my glucose monitor with me. I had sugar (the Gu gel stuff that makes me want to throw up but works wonders when you need instant sugar), but had gone through most of it, and I was beginning to feel a bit low. Since I didn't have a checker with me I wasn't sure where I was at.

I caught up to these 2 guys and said: "Hi! I'm a diabetic, too!" And the rest, as they say, is history. They gave me sugar and we ended up walking about a mile and a half together before I started running for the end. We pretty much finished together, and it was such a great moment! Those 2 guys (Jerry Nairn and Brian Foster) ended up not only helping me through that race, but changing my life forever.

Turns out they both belonged to this group called Triabetes that is full of diabetics who want to live healthy and active lives, and they want to be supported by others who are in the same situation. It's actually a branch off from the group Insulindependence (which is a nonprofit group dedicated to just this thing). Jerry hooked me up with the group and I was able to join. They've got a network for diabetics called Phrendo (which is basically facebook for diabetics), and I joined that and began meeting so many amazing people who all had one thing in common--diabetics that wanted to be active and healthy. There is a group for those most interested in triathlons (triabetes), one for runners (glucomotive), one for adventurers (testing limits), and one for those who love the water (a1sea).

As I was searching the site I saw a link for anyone interested in becoming a Triabetes Team captain. I clicked on it, and thought "Woa! That would be amazing." Basically you become like an ambassador in your region of the US to help others with diabetes (kind of like Jerry and Brian did for me), you mentor a child with type 1 diabetes (totally cool!), you put on a regional event in your area (like a race of some sort, or else help at a race), you have monthly activities (for anyone to join, diabetic or not...like let's meet at Freestone and go for a run/walk and have bagels afterwards kind of thing), and you train for the Ironman St. George 2011. Oh yea, and you have to raise like $5000. They will give you coaches and support and give you a week of intensive training in Florida in November (and lots of other things), and then you will compete in this mother of all events...

I filled out the application, and then I threw it away. I don't have time for this. In case you've forgotten I work full time, I have 3 children, I'm in the scouting program for church...I'm BIZZ-AY! I put it out of my mind. Until I was just casually minding my own business (hanging out in Disneyland if you must know), and this guy named Peter Nerothin (founder of Insulindependence) calls me up out of the blue and asks if I want to be a Triabetes team captain. Uh..... what?? Remember the part where I threw that sucker away? The app was in the trash, and here he was calling me.

Basically, after long talks with him, with Troy, with my sister, with myself...I finally decided this was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I wanted to take advantage of. When else would I be able to work and train with other type 1 diabetics for an Ironman? When else would I get to be part of something so amazing and special that I could give back even a tiny bit of what others have given me? Never.

So I said yes. I went to St. George for a weekend to watch the SGIM 2010 and work an aid station. I met the other 9 team captains from across the country, as well as the 2 founders (Peter, and another guy named John Moore), and also JERRY NAIRN! The great guy who got me started in the first place! He's our honorary captain this year. I can tell you that weekend changed my life, and this year will be one I will never ever forget. My Ironman training has officially begun. If I was busy before, I'm even busier now!

So...if you ever want to go for a run, or a bike ride, or a swim, CALL ME! I want to go, too! If you know of any diabetics, please please please give them my email or phone number, or direct them to my blog. If you have some extra cash (HA!) PLEASE donate to my cause, because this is something that I believe VERY strongly in. (Visit insulindependence.org, or email me for my exact link. For some reason it's not letting me put it here in this blog post). And if you have any encouraging words of advice...I can always use them!

Here's to the journey!

The Slacker's Back!!

Seriously, who's the worst blog slacker on the planet? I know you're thinking it...and it's true! ME! I suck at blogging. But that's OK. I have about 10 or 50 things to blog about, but I'm only gonna blog about one tonight.  I bet you can guess what it is!

My TRIATHLON!!!

One of the greatest experiences of my life. Not only for the fact that I DID it. But because I got to do it with 4 of the most amazing women EVER!!

4 months ago, my sister Dixie sent a little question out to the blogging world about who would possibly be interested in joining a training group because she had the itch to train. We'd be training for a triathlon in May. I (being the blog slacker you know and love) am afraid to think of what would've happened if I hadn't checked blogs that week. I could've been left out of this group! I don't check blogs as often as I'd like, but I just happened to do so that week. I immediately commented that I would definitely need to be one of her "groupies." Luckily, the blog gods were with me, and I was included.

The group consisted of my 3 sisters (Dana, Allyson, Dixie), myself, and my cousin Wendy. (Actually, we had 5 people to start, but Amy Howe was oober busy and had to drop out). Dixie called a meeting, set us up on workout regimens, and gave us weekly challenges. We had several meetings throughout that helped to keep us motivated, and even had our own Biggest Loser challenge (that Dana kicked butt on and won hands down). My body hates me as you may or may not recall, and has continued to horde those extra pounds even as I have tried my darndest to wrench them free. Whatever.

When I started this journey I was completely NOT a runner. I remember my first 2 minutes of running...my butt and legs were like jello jigglers, and my lungs were on fire. I had to stop and walk after TWO MINUTES. A few months later I was able to complete the Ragnar Relay and ran 12.4 miles! I joined a running group, and even joined a gym called Competitive Fitness to help me on this journey of weight loss and overall better health.  I started waking up at 4:30 am to get to the gym by 5. If I missed, I'd go after work. Dana and I would go to Lifetime Fitness together to swim and bike. Dixie started us on Saturday morning bike rides and runs. It was like this whole other world opened up for me, and suddenly I saw what I had been missing for so long. I had been letting life pass me by! I had been the one in bed on the weekends wondering why the heck anyone would be up before the sun. Now I was the crazy! Only, guess what?? I didn't feel crazy. I felt GOOD. I felt HAPPY. I felt HEALTHY. And I felt READY TO LIVE!!!

Wanna know the craziest part of this, though? (And really the best part). This overall amazing feeling began to spill over to the rest of my life. I suddenly didn't want to regret all that wasted time with my kids. I didn't want to look back and only remember sitting on the couch watching TV or going out to movies. I wanted to remember connecting with my kids and creating the kind of family I knew I was supposed to. So, Troy and I started talking. We set some goals. We came up with a family mission statement. We made a goal to TURN OFF THE TV and LEAVE IT OFF any time we were with our kids. When they're awake, we're "WITH" them. Not just in the same room, but actually connecting with them. Playing games. Playing catch. Going for walks or bike rides. Going on hikes. Talking. Laughing. Cooking. Doing projects. Whatever. The point is, if any of you know Troy at all, you'll know that this right here is MIRACLE #2 in our family. (#1 was that we had Brooklyn and she changed our lives forever and we actually liked each other again!!). Troy is addicted to TV. He never wants his comfort to be compromised, or his downtime to be bothered. He doesn't really care about much...food, TV, and sleep. He's changing, though. So it didn't just affect me, it affected him, and us.

Even better...we've almost read the entire Book of Mormon this year as a family--before school! We hardly ever missed all year. We started Family Home Evenings again. We've just been enjoying each other more, and it feels good.  So this exercise thing? It's not just physical. It's spiritual as well. I never want to go back.

Anyway, I'm getting long winded. Sorry. (It's cuz I haven't posted in ages). So...Saturday, May 9 rolls around. I know I'm ready. 2 weeks before we actually went to Tempe Beach Park and rode the trail for the bike, and ran the trail for the run. I did it NO PROBLEM. I ran the entire time and could've kept going--I felt that good! Tuesday of this week I went running with my marathon friend and we ran 5 miles (in the heat) and I was fine!! Could've kept going. So I know I'm ready.

Here are a couple of things that could have foreshadowed some problems ahead...#1 I took my bike in on Friday for a tune up and to be sure it was "tri-ready". They took my water bottle off and didn't put it back on, but of course I didn't notice that until that night at 10. I had NO water bottle. Dixie assured me it was a short enough race that I'd be fine without it. #2 It was like the blazes of hell at 7 in the morning. Already. hmmmmmm....

8:15 BAM! My wave is off! I'm swimming in the nastiest lake water ever. It's totally green or yellow (whichever it was I just know I could see ZERO when my face was in the water). However, I didn't let that stop me. I kicked butt on the swim! I was one of the first to finish in my wave, and even passed up lots of orange caps (the wave before). I got out and found my legs a bit wobbly beneath me, but I was still ready to go! I was super thirsty already and thought it was not a good sign, but what could I do? No water bottle. I took a quick drink. 18 minutes after I started, I was off on the bike!

The bike was seriously a bit harder than I expected, and I'll tell you why. It was full of some serious hills...and I was PARCHED! Picture the driest your mouth has ever felt. Then picture watching other people with water bottles and camelbacks while you just try and swallow the dry straw in your own throat! It was agonizing! My bike helmet clip felt too tight because I couldn't swallow. It was not good. However, I persevered. I finished in 55 minutes (which really is about what I'd been doing in my practices...maybe a couple minutes slower).

As soon as I racked my bike I took my time in the transition because I HAD to get some fluids in me. It was 300 degrees and I needed water. I even drank some nasty Gatorade, which I HATE! I rinsed and spit and drank some good long drinks. Off I went to my run. As I exited the transition area my whole family (Mom, Dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, husband, children, bro-in-laws, nieces, nephews) were there cheering me on and I am serious - I ran past them bawling. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and so completely elated by their support. It was AMAZING! Can't describe it.

As I start running I keep thinking: Your goal is to run without stopping. No matter what, don't stop. Keep going. Fight it. Fight it. Fight it. Crap...I'm gonna die. Gotta stop. NO! Don't stop. You are going to hate yourself if you stop. Fight it! You CAN DO THIS! You just ran 5 miles. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna die. Cramps. Breathing hard. Is it seriously 110 degrees? Just a little bit further....dang it. I stopped.

I'm still so disappointed in myself on the run. I stopped, and I had the hardest time starting again. I ran probably half a mile, then walked half a mile. Then ran half a mile, then walked half a mile. I ran the full final mile, but seriously I was dead. Dehydrated, SUNBURNT like you cannot believe, and just exhausted.  However...

I got to the final stretch and my boys were waiting there with big grins (and I swear  I am emotionally broken, because I keep crying over this whole event...even as I'm typing this), and they cheered me on and started running in with me. I could see them with water bottles for me and a bouquet of flowers, and proud smiles on their faces. I ran in. I crossed the finish line. I. Did. It.

It took me 1 hour and 55 minutes (10 minutes longer than my goal). But I did it. No one can take that away from me. And no one will ever be able to take away from me the feeling I had of seeing my whole amazing family there, braving the heat, cheering me on, and making me feel like a rock star. I didn't come in first. I think I was actually 252nd! But it didn't matter because I was a winner to them.

The worst part was for my sister Allyson. Her stupid tire blew on the first lap of her bike ride. I rode right past her and it was terrible. It took 40 minutes for someone to finally come and help her. She just stood there crying, waiting for help. She finally got done with the first lap when BOOM! The other tire blew. Two stupid flats! Luckily Dana finished her bike ride right then and switched out with her, so Allyson could finish. But when Allyson came through the transition from the bike to the run she was bawling and it just about killed me. So I went on the final 3.1 mile "run" with her (after I'd finished), and it was worth it. She's AMAZING! She finished even with 2 flat tires and a blister the size of Texas on her foot.

My sisters (and my cousin) are all amazing women. They all overcame so much to get where they were on Saturday. I'm actually kind of sad it's over, because this was such a bonding experience. All I can say is...it's only a beginning. I've started a journey that I don't see an end for. I've lost 15 pounds, gained lots of muscle and stamina, and gotten closer to some truly remarkable women. My next one? June 6. Wanna join me??

She swims. She bikes. She runs. SheROX! 

The Ragnar Relay

Well folks. I made it. I am still alive and moving (though slowly) and I feel AWESOME!! Here is a not-so-quick rundown of my amazing weekend.  (You can see my photos with comments on my facebook page).

The Ragnar Relay is a 202.1 mile run from Prescott down to Mesa. There are 12 runners per team, and 6 runners in each van. Van 1 started (for us) at 8:00 am Friday morning. (There are different start times for different teams depending on speed. We were one of the slowest teams, so we got an earlier start.) :) The people in my van were: Amanda Mahowald (the 6th grade teacher that got me into this), Dan Bowser our 69 year old team captain, Sue Daul, Brenda Careaga, Steve Hosfield, and me. We were called HalFast (half assed) because we're "half the speed, twice the fun!" We had painted donkeys on our vans with our theme. Thank goodness I was on a team like that because otherwise I could've really let them down! I'm certainly not Speedy Gonzalez!

You can actually go to the Ragnar Relay website and see the legs I had to run http://www.ragnarrelay.com I was runner 2. The first leg you can see was 3.6 miles, but it was a lot of uphill work. It was rated HARD for a reason! I did fairly well on it because I was pumped up at the beginning of the race and still had some energy. I did walk for a little bit of the time, but I passed up 4 runners (we call that "roadkill." See how I talk like a runner now??). I finished really strong, and felt great afterwards. One leg down!

After the 6 of us finished our legs we handed off to Van #2. We now had about 6 hours to rest, so we drove to the next major exchange point and spread out our sleeping bags and blankets onto the hard ground and tried to rest. Didn't really get much rest, though. :) I finished reading "Hunger Games" and tried to sleep, but the hard packed dirt didn't really cushion my hips so well, and the blaring music and sun didn't help much either. It was still nice to be able to just relax and chat with each other for a while.

At about 8:00 or 8:30 (can't remember) Van 2 finished and handed off to us. (Oh, when I say handed off, what actually happened was we passed a slap bracelet to each other instead of a baton). It was totally dark by now, so everyone had to be wearing reflective vests, headlamps, and a flashing red reflector on our backs.  This was actually cool, and my favorite part of the trip. I got to run in the pitch dark on Highway 93 for 4.6 miles! It was tough when cars were driving right at you with their headlights blaring, but I made it through. In fact, I'd say I did the best on this run because it was cool, my leg was nice and flat, and I was able to run almost the whole time without stopping. I finished in 51 minutes.  But, when I finished that leg I actually felt sick to my stomach. I had to walk around quite a bit after that one and let it settle. It was not fun. I couldn't keep my eyes open in the van after that.

By about 1:30 we finished our 2nd legs and stopped at the next exchange point which was Middleton Elementary School (I think) where we got to crash on a classroom floor. I didn't get much sleep here either. The hard ground and warm room were not very helpful! I did get maybe an hour of sleep, though. At 5:00 they woke us up and shooed us out, so we headed to the next major exchange point, which was a high school (can't remember where), where we were able to kind of clean up and get ready for round #3!

The final leg of this race began at about 9:00 in the morning. I ran from 11 - 12. It was the HARDEST leg of the race for me. It was rated HARD because it was literally straight up hill the whole time until about the last mile. It was also extremely windy. I was already exhausted from lack of sleep, and I felt sick to my stomach before I started, so I think I sort of psyched myself out before I had even started, but I did start! I felt like I was standing still when I was running, and I was having a hard time...but I persevered! At about the last mile I ran great and was able to finish strong. It was 4.2 miles.  

In all I ran a total of 12.4 miles (a half marathon! of course, not altogether, so doesn't really count the same...but still...). Before this I had never run more than 2 miles at a time, and I would have NEVER thought it was even possible. It was one of the coolest experiences of my life, though, and truly life changing. The atmosphere at an event like this is charged and electrified. Everyone is there for the same reason, everyone cheers you on as you go. It gives you the biggest boost of energy when your van (or someone else's) will stop and yell for you and give you that support. It was the coolest thing to be running on these roads where police would stop traffic for you, and to be seeing cars pass and think: "I used to be one of those people just driving by in the car wondering who would be crazy enough to be running! Now I'm one of those runners!" I never thought I'd BE one of those runners. But I was!  And even if I wasn't the fastest, I discovered that I was faster than anyone who never even tried. Faster than anyone who stayed in bed. Faster than anyone who gave up or quit. I was faster than I had been last week. It was such a great discovery!

It was so cool to hear people talk to me like I was one of them. When they'd say "well, you're a runner, so you know..." and in my mind I'd be thinking "ha ha! fooled you, didn't I??" But by the end of the weekend, I truly felt like I could be included in that category of "runner" and I wanted to (for the first time since high school) BE a runner. 

I am more excited for my triathalon than ever, and am joining the East Valley Runners club (which is the group I was with), and will continue my running journey. I know now that I LOVE being an actual participant in these events, and that I NEED something like this to motivate me to do more in my workouts...or to even make sure I DO my workouts! I'm now considering a 10K as my next goal. I've already conquered a 5k! :) I do SheROX in May, and then who knows what's next? I said I would NEVER EVER do a marathon...but now there's a crazy little notion in the back of my head that says: "Never? Really? That's an awfully long time...and you never thought you'd do a triathalon...and you never thought you could do this relay...maybe you shouldn't say never...maybe someday you WILL do a marathon..."

CRAZY, HUH??? Maybe. But here are some of the greatest things I got this weekend:

1) A new group of amazing friends.

2) A confidence in myself that I hadn't had before.

3) A renewed motivation to push myself and work hard.

4) A desire to continue competing in events.

5) A STRONG desire to never let life pass me by. I could sit and watch TV, eat, be lazy...and watch life go by. Or I could be out there EXPERIENCING life. Not just me, but my family. There are so many things going on each weekend that we could be experiencing, that we don't.

6) A personal confirmation that eating right and living a healthy life are NOT as hard as I thought, and that I actually want to do that even more now.

7) A husband who said he might even consider doing something like this....(SERIOUSLY...that right there is a bit of a miracle).

8) The knowledge that I can do anything I set my mind to.

9) Inspired by over 2000 people who chose to spend 2 days running.

10) 2 new quotes: "The miracle isn't that I finished.  The miracle is that I had the courage to start.

—John "The Penguin" Bingham

Once we clear a hurdle, it doesn't seem so high.

Clear those hurdles in life, friends. You can do it! :) I did it, and my next one's in sight!

4 Miles Baby!!

So yea. I'm innocently walking my class back from PE this morning when one of the 6th grade teachers comes walking down the hallway and asks me what I'm doing this weekend. Well. This isn't just any 6th grade teacher. This is the MARATHON RUNNING 6th grade teacher. Ya...she did the New York marathon this year, the PF Chang's, the Rock'n Roll, and just 2 weeks ago an ULTRA marathon, which is 31 stinking miles. She's pretty amazing.

So I was a little concerned about where this question was leading, but I told her I wasn't doing anything. So she asked........if I wanted to join her group for the Ragnar Relay. What the heck is the Ragnar Relay you ask?  Well, it starts in Prescott. There are 12 people on a team (or 6 if you're super crazy and like torture), and you each take turns running different legs of the race. Not little legs mind you. Big fat legs. Until you make it back to Mesa about 36 hours later. Non stop. 

She told me I would be doing the shortest leg. That would be 4 miles---3 different times! One of them even in the middle of the night.  I told her that a runner, I am not. Yes, I've been training for a triathalon, but the running is seriously my weakest area. My downfall, if you will. But I told her I'd think about it.

Well, the thing is I couldn't stop thinking about it. CRAZY. WHY was I even thinking about it? The last time I ran 4 miles in a row was in high school! But, it kept poking its way back to the front of my brain. Plus, she's hilarious and I knew we'd have a blast. So I told her I would do it. WHAT??? Am I insane? Possibly.

We leave Friday morning at 4:20 am (yep), and we won't stop or get home until Saturday  night. I will run 3 different times, the first 3.6 miles, the second 4.6 miles, and the last 4.2 (I think). 

I decided that I better just try out a run at the gym tonight to see if I could seriously do this without completely dying. (I did assure her that I was a crappy runner and I'd probably have to walk, and she told me it was fine. Apparently our team is called the "Halfast" group...half the speed, twice the fun...which is great for me! But really they're all part of this running club, and I am definitely not).

I decide I'm going for 4 miles (are we remembering here that the last time that happened was almost 20 years ago???).  I turned on my iPod, set the speed for 5.5, and off I went. I upped it to 6.0, then 6.5, and wouldn't you know it...I ran FOUR MILES! In a row. With only a SLIGHT stop for speed walking halfway through. And guess how long it took me? 45 minutes and 35 seconds. That's about an 11 minute mile in case you didn't want to figure out the math. Seriously? I have NOT been pushing myself hard enough apparently, because I did it! And I felt good! I was tired, yes. But I did it.

The funny thing is I've "hated" running for so long that I never gave it a chance. This made me think I might not actually hate it after all.  I can't explain the euphoria felt after that accomplishment tonight. Am I still scared to death for this weekend? YES. But at least I know I can do it. It is possible. And I won't die.  

Who knows? Maybe after this triathalon I'll join that running club. Nothing seems impossible anymore. I did it. I'm proud.

But let's hope I'm still alive on Sunday. :)

My Body Hates Me

OK, so it's official. I've decided my body has it in for me. I know, I know. It's my own fault. I've abused it for too long by filling it up with junk food and garbage. But still! You'd think that it would thank me for trying to fix that, and for trying to make it more healthy with exercise all the time. Nope. It hates me. 

I suppose it's just gotten used to all that extra fat, and it's become attached to it emotionally. I don't know. But I do know that it's TICKING me off!! I mean, come on. I have been diligently working out 5 days a week for 6 weeks whilst training for this triathalon. I have been a trooper on these fitness/food challenges that Dixie has been throwing at me (no soda, no eating after 7 pm, 5 a day fruits and veggies, no snacks except fruits and veggies, writing down my food/calories, and now no sweets). I haven't been perfect on the challenges. I've struggled with the fruits and veggies, and finding time to write things down has been tough. But I HAVE stopped the eating just because crap.

So I ask you...should NOT my body LOVE me for this and help me out by shedding a few of those unwanted, unnecessary, unseemly, UGLY fat pounds?? The answer, my friends, should be a resounding yes. But unfortunately for me, my body says NO! I LOVE the fat and want to keep it. Stupid body.  

You know what it's done? It's shed a MEASLEY 2 pounds since beginning this training on Jan. 1st. Just 2 pounds! On Saturday it was 3 pounds, but today when I weighed, it was back to just 2. Two. T-W-O. Dos. A Couple. Twins. A pair. 

Now, I'm not giving up, but I'm telling you my motivation and dedication are wavering in the face of this stubborn body of mine. I am biking, swimming, running, and weight training diligently and getting no results. For the love of all that's holy, people, what's wrong with me??

Never fear. I shall persevere, and eventually I will wear my body down so that I will be the champion. I WILL lose the weight, and I WILL look hot...eventually. Wish me luck, though, because right now my body is laughing at me and holding those two pounds in front of my face with a taunting jeer saying: "See these, sucker? I want them back, and I'm not giving up any more!" And I'm trying with all my might to look that body in the eye and stare it down with fierceness and shout back: "2 pounds is 2 pounds, jerk! Just watch out because IT. IS. ON!"

But I'm kinda struggling...

I need a boost. This will all work for me eventually, right? 

Or should I just blame it all on that blasted diabetes?! Ya...that's the reason....

GRRRRR!

Facebook is Addicting!

So, I realize I'm a total slacker when it comes to my blog, and I haven't posted for a while. I have to say that Facebook has officially sucked me in! It is addicting.  Here is the weird thing, though. I had someone "friend" me and could NOT figure out where I knew her from, or if I actually knew her. I waited to confirm until BINGO! It hit me! It was a student of mine from when I first started teaching...12 years ago!!

She's all grown up and engaged to be married. Who feels OLD??? Yep, me. So then I visited her page and looked at all her friends (like 400 something), and I found LOTS of my old students. It was so weird to see them all grown up, kissing boys, dressing...not like 10 year olds, etc. I still picture them as 4th graders, ya know??

Anyway, they are doing great, and I'm seriously enjoying catching back up with them...because after all, I spent 180 days of their formative years with them, and I'm pretty sure I'm the reason they're doing so well....KIDDING! But honestly, where does the time go??

Shouldn't everyone stay their innocent little selves forever? Ah well... 

Carpe Diem and all that.

Mrs. Crandell